My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
