You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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