Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize
