If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Randomize