she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
thus making me awesome and them whores
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
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