A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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