dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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