Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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