I wish I only lived at night.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Randomize
