I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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