I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
