We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize
