It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
