Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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