On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
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