69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize