OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
