I like to think it a success when the cops are called
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Randomize
