Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
At least life still wants to fuck me.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
