But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Randomize