i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
