I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
