Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
