I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
