haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
