Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Randomize
