so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
