Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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