There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
