i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
i drank out of a bidet.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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