What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
