dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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