Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
