his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
