these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
