why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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