you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Randomize
