"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Randomize