I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Randomize
