in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
