Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
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