your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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