I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
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