Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
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