I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Randomize
