HIV tests are more positive than that guy
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Randomize
