you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
