My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
