Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Randomize
