Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Randomize
