Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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