There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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