so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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