I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
