If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Randomize
