i'm lost and i look like a hooker
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Randomize
