is your mom at the bar?
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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