Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
