Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
