I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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