She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
