Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize